Question for you, dear readers. Do you like Mountain Dew™? (You don’t have to answer out loud.) Do you like vodka? Well, the good people at the Three Olives company have you covered, assuming you answered “yes” to both of those clearly rhetorical questions! They recently introduced a flavored vodka that goes by the moniker “Dude” (because they presumably don’t like getting sued for copyright infringement any more than you would) and purports to recreate the taste of said carbonated sugar beverage.
They’ve certainly recreated the color. If I didn’t know better (and I usually don’t), I’d have to say that was just flat Mountain Dew™. But… is it?
NO! NO IT ISN’T! IT MOST ASSUREDLY IS NOT!
On the whole, the tasting engineer reports that the fellow mad scientists at Three Olives have come as close as one could reasonably be expected to come to recreating the taste of Mountain Dew™, except for the part where MOUNTAIN DEW DOESN’T CONTAIN 35 PERCENT ALCOHOL™. Which raises the troubling question – what would one mix with this stuff, if one were so inclined? More Mountain Dew∞§¶•ªº just seems redundant, not to mention far too sweet to add to something that’s already insanely sweet. Same with Spriteœ∑©¨. You could go with Club Soda (no trademark necessary) but then you’d just get Mountain Dewπ¬π¬π with alcohol in it, and if you wanted to end up with that you could just buy vodka and add it to Mountain Dew¡. The only thing that came to mind was some kind of medium bodied sparkling wine, maybe a prosecco or something in that neck of the woods. But, that’ll have to wait for another day. For the moment –
wait, i mean
OH DEAR GOD WHY LABORATORIES OUT.